MY EXPERIENCE WITH ALCOHOL & WHY I CHOOSE NOT TO DRINK

On Saturday, I got heckled by a couple of blokes in the pub garden.

Let me paint the picture. I was running along on the pavement in the beautiful sunshine, minding my own business, when two absolute geezers sinking a “coupla jars” outside the pub started shouting at me.

I didn’t really understand the whole sentence as the jars had obviously been flowing all day, but it was something along the lines of “get a life!”

And then probably followed by something about me being short, bald, or both of those things.

Fair. Not very original. But fair.

And it gave me inspiration to finally write this blog. So jokes on them really.

I’ve had quite a few people ask me about my experience with stopping drinking, mainly because they’ve struggled to explain to other people why they’re not always drinking at social events. Which is utterly fucking mental in itself that they even have to.

This isn’t about the countless physiological health benefits of not drinking alcohol. All of that is out there in research papers in black and white. That could be a whole other blog on its own.

This is about the mental side, which of course is different for everyone. So, it doesn’t mean my journey is going to be the same as someone else’s.

Having said that, I think almost everybody would benefit from taking some time away from drinking alcohol. Even if they don’t continue with it, they will know how they feel mentally and physically without having to constantly recover from it.

Then they can make their decision from there whether they feel it’s worth it.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH ALCOHOL

Let’s be clear from the off. I have no issue with alcohol, 99% of my family and friends drink and have a great time with it. I think in certain situations it’s beneficial.

I’ve never even been close to being an alcoholic. But I used to go out most weekends and binge drink, like most people in their teens and twenties.

But for me, you don’t have to be an alcoholic to have an issue with alcohol.

Growing up in my teens I was the little skinny introvert who played rugby with a load of bigger blokes. Lots of my friends and teammates were big characters. They were all more outgoing, funny, and in most people’s eyes, much more fun.

So as a little scrawny kid trying to fit in, and this could probably be said into my twenties too (just a bit less scrawny), I felt like I needed alcohol to fit in.

Or worse still, and I think this was my issue, I needed alcohol to be less me, and a bit more them.

I didn’t like being me. I wanted to be more outgoing. When I binged on alcohol, I was who I wanted to be (at that time).

But. And this is a big but. I was a fucking dick. I was gobby, overconfident, took the piss out of everyone, and was desperate for people to think I was fun so ended up doing stupid shit usually at someone else's expense.

Probably a bit like those lemon squeezers in the pub garden to be honest.

Then the next 2-3 days with a hangover were always hell. When I’m hungover, I’m the absolute worst version of myself.

I’m lazy, I get the booze blues and feel sorry for myself. I worry about what I’ve done the night before, if I’ve pissed anyone off or said something to someone I shouldn’t have.

I have no energy to give to anyone, which makes me feel even worse, and the anxious thoughts take over my brain.

Weekend ruined.

I’m sure this all sounds like it’s part of being a teenager and young adult I suppose but there came a point where I finally didn’t want to be ‘that guy’ anymore.

MY EXPERIENCE WITHOUT ALCOHOL

No single moment made me stop drinking. It just happened over the space of a few years. At the time I wasn’t sure why I didn’t want to drink, mentally it just felt right not to.

Now over the last year or 2, I’ve been understanding more about why I stopped. I’ve never been more driven or determined to be the best person I can be, and the feeling of missing out on things initially, now feel justified.

I do think it is absolutely crazy that we now live in a society where if someone tells you they’re not drinking at a social event, it’s met with shock and you hear all sorts of “banter” about them being boring or a pussy.

Firstly, nobody knows what's going on in someone else's life. They might be having a tough time and need to lay off the booze. Or, for all we know, might even be a recovering alcoholic. It's like when ignorant muppets ask people why they haven't got any kids. It's none of our business.

Secondly, why is it almost treated like a bad thing when someone isn't taking what is essentially a drug (a depressant drug for that matter). We have made it almost compulsory to have this drug in the majority of social situations.

Like I said though, this blog isn't about hating on alcohol. But if someone tells you they're not drinking, try not to be a complete prick and make them feel shit about it.

It’s taken quite a long time for people to stop asking me why I’m not drinking or not understanding why I don’t do it.

I have no issue with alcohol. I have an issue with me drinking alcohol.

Since I’ve stopped drinking, I’m the best version of myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a bit of a dick, but less so. I have clarity in my thinking 7 days a week instead of 3 or 4, I'm less anxious, I’m more productive, I’m in a better mood, I’m a better human-being.

And that’s just compared to me drinking once a week.

Do I still have a drink every now and then? Yeah. But it’s usually just one or two, and I have one when I really fancy it, not when others think I should be drinking.

But the best reason why I don’t drink, which shows how far I’ve come mentally compared to the hole I was in, is that I used to drink because i didn’t like who I was. Now I don’t drink because I like who I am and I don’t want to be this different personality.

So to the absolute geezers necking pints on Saturday who heckled me….

This weekend I worked, saw friends, went for a lovely run in the sun, and spent some precious time with my son.

I've got the life I want. Not the life you think I should want. And every day I'm working on making it better for myself and for my family.

Your life is YOUR life. Live it how you want to live it.

Want to drink every night? Ok.

Want to never drink again? Ok.

But it has to be right for you, and the people that are closest to you.

Would I have had a great time if I was in that beer garden too? Yes I would have.

Would I have had as good a day with my son the next day if I did? Knowing me on hangovers, no I wouldn't.

Would I have been able to care for him the way I did and be as attentive? Definitely not.

It’s not just about you.

To those people that can honestly say they can drink all weekend and still be the best version of themselves for their loved ones, I salute you! Because I certainly can’t.

And that’s why I made my choice.

I’m not judging anyone that drinks. If I could drink and be on top form the days that follow, then I probably would drink more.

But maybe next time your mate tells you they’re not drinking, just think before you call them a “pussy” or “boring”.

You don’t know their why.

Writing this has almost felt like therapy. Putting into words my “why”, when for so long I didn’t really know what that was.

A lovely little result from something that could have pissed me off.